As the Real NCAA Tournament begins, NMW has finally made it to the SWEET SIXTEEN of the third installment of MARCH BADASSNESS - our yearly tournament of pop culture badassery - previous winners include Han Solo in 2015 and Buffy Summers in 2016. I still can't explain that one. Buffy fans are hot out there! In 2017 there are only 16 out of an original 64 combatants left - so get your votes in every week!
As the #1 seed, Jet Li is holding strong, despite having the voice of a 12-year old girl. What is his best film? Once Upon a Time in China (1991)? And his best American film? The One (2001)? Oof. Jet Li was like, the extreme martial artist for the turn of the century we needed in the age of MTV Spring Break, Limp Bizkit, and xXx (2002). Furiosa is cementing her badassery with Atomic Blonde (2017) this year, and probably trumps Li on trucks, guns, and friends (sorry, Mad Max beats DMX), but Jet Li can probably out-face-kick her. This is a good match-up.
So, this has clearly gotten ridiculous. McBain is fueled by his fictional badass insanity from his seven McBain films, as played by Rainier Wolfcastle, as played by Harry Shearer. Still, all the classics are there. Up Late with McBain. McBain IV: Fatal Discharge. Ice to see you. I shoot your face. Undercover nerd. The goggles...they do nothing. Aragorn is a legitimate King of Gondor and Leader of the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth and fought trolls and shit. He also makes Eowyn's panties wet but is constantly loyal to stick in the mud Arwen for some reason. Whatever, Viggo. Go make another weird movie where you're a Russian Gangster or stuck with your kids in the woods or something.
Be sure to vote in the other divisions!
Sherwood Division
LV-426 Division
Z-City Division
Who would win between...
As the #1 seed, Jet Li is holding strong, despite having the voice of a 12-year old girl. What is his best film? Once Upon a Time in China (1991)? And his best American film? The One (2001)? Oof. Jet Li was like, the extreme martial artist for the turn of the century we needed in the age of MTV Spring Break, Limp Bizkit, and xXx (2002). Furiosa is cementing her badassery with Atomic Blonde (2017) this year, and probably trumps Li on trucks, guns, and friends (sorry, Mad Max beats DMX), but Jet Li can probably out-face-kick her. This is a good match-up.
Who would win between...
So, this has clearly gotten ridiculous. McBain is fueled by his fictional badass insanity from his seven McBain films, as played by Rainier Wolfcastle, as played by Harry Shearer. Still, all the classics are there. Up Late with McBain. McBain IV: Fatal Discharge. Ice to see you. I shoot your face. Undercover nerd. The goggles...they do nothing. Aragorn is a legitimate King of Gondor and Leader of the Free Peoples of Middle-Earth and fought trolls and shit. He also makes Eowyn's panties wet but is constantly loyal to stick in the mud Arwen for some reason. Whatever, Viggo. Go make another weird movie where you're a Russian Gangster or stuck with your kids in the woods or something.
Be sure to vote in the other divisions!
Sherwood Division
LV-426 Division
Z-City Division
No comments:
Post a Comment