One Shot Reviews - August 2024!

I have found lately that I want to get some thoughts out about recent movies I've watched. Then I realized I've been maintaining an unsuccessful blog for fifteen years! My issue is I go way too in-depth and then never end up writing because I don't have the time because I know it's going to take me like three hours to get everything out of my head. But here are snippets of stuff I've seen recently:

Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 (2024): I really wanted to support this, like man, a classic Kevin Costner western dripping with sincerity, sounds awesome. This was maybe one of the straight up worst movies I've seen in recent memory. And this was the year of Madame Webb (2024) and Borderlands (2024), people. It's just somehow shot really really boringly despite having the entire American West as a backdrop. There are way too many unrelated characters that are continually introduced up to two hours into the movie. Supposedly that will all straighten out as the somehow THREE ADDITIONAL chapters drop, but simply put there is nothing compelling here to justify much of anything. It's really rough and I really wanted to like this one.

Sasquatch Sunset (2024): I was pumped for this one, too. I really didn't want Harry and the Hendersons (1987) but I wanted something a little lighter for what amounts to a Bigfoot mockumentary. This is one of the most depressing movies of the year! It's so deeply, deeply sad! It at least does look good, it works as basically a silent movie and the acting is spectacular, and I can safely say I've never quite seen a movie like this. So good stuff but man it's sad.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024): It's hard to even say this, but this might have been the best of the recent Apes films. It tells an incredibly articulate story while preserving all the themes of the previous films. It's basically an animated film that looks gorgeous. Somehow this series has never won any awards ever but we'll see this year.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024): This was getting a lot of praise as possibly superior to Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). It doesn't quite reach those levels of pure storytelling efficiency but it's definitely solid. Hemsworth probably wrapped up villain of the year, equally charismatic, threatening, and pathetic. This is definitely in the Saga category. I was surprised when Anya didn't show up until over halfway through. There is so much world-building that really doesn't take away from Fury Road. And plenty of room open to see how Scrotus dies.

That's about it. I just want to say that somehow James Acaster was the funniest part of Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024), which is insane for a movie starring Aykroyd, Rudd, and Murray.

Goodnight everybody!

Sum Sum Summer Three Quarts

 I somewhat yearn for the golden years of our seventeen week summer break. We are having fun, but I do sort of miss those days. Anyway, we've never quite had a summer like this where we have three clear contenders in a dead heat, although all three also very clearly have their own distinct ranking. I was about to say "A Bar Song" was losing steam, too, then I heard it on regular radio the other day. All three just seem to be where they always were, and we'll keep going with that. So, let's start with the periphery:

"I Had Some Help" by Post Malone and Morgan Wallen

I mean, it's fine, I don't think I'm adding it to a playlist to listen to in the 2040s but it's here and picking up steam.

"Please Please Please" by Sabrina Carpenter

Let's call Sabrina the Team USA of summer - not Gold but winning the medal count. This song is maybe taking over "Expresso" but not really.

"Polkamania" by Weird Al

Yeah!

"A Bar Song" by Shaboozey

It's my pick for song of summer and the one that gets in my head the most. I do think it's a clear #3 but it picked up a bit this week. Everything about it rules and I hope it's bigger than "Tipsy" ever was. Sorry J-Kwon. Shaboozey has another track out now, too. I don't think it will be a thing.

"Expresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

I mean, c'mon, definitely industry plant, right? She's just effortless in this debut and it's a big announcement of her on the pop scene. It feels like any other pop song. Something elevates it. I think it might just be horniness.

"Not Like Us" by Kendrick

I never want to prematurely annoint a Song of Summer, but something would have to be really really ubiquitous in August to overthrow Kendrick at this point. The only one I can really remember is "I Gotta Feeling" way back in 2009 that surged real late. There's a million things to note about this. It might be the most popular diss track of all time, and also one that really really sounds like libel? And Drake can't sue because he'd either look soft(er) or in discovery they'd find out he really is a pedophile. The whole thing is nuts. It is a good song, though. Catchy. Kendrick is definitely killing a beetle with a sledgehammer and the whole origin of the beef is so damn stupid but like, I don't know of any other beef with such a definitive winner.

Other people who are trying...

Charli XCX came out with a new one with Billie Eilish, which is a weird combo, and not a very good song. She also had "360" earlier, but I have found that while I want to be interested, I really can't get into it. Eminem's "Houdini" is maybe okay, but it's just not as big. Billie Eilish does have a lot of songs out, but they're all really depressing.

That's it! We have a few more weeks and then we'll call it for Labor Day!