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29 December 2022

2022 Nutshelled: Stuff We Thought Would Be Great!

Ah, the best time of the year. Time to look back at what we were eagerly anticipating and see how wrong we were. I feel like I'm disappointed every year, man. Except for 2017 when Blade Runner 2049 was my most anticipated and then greatest movie of the year. So let's take a look back at this stuff and see how we did:

Untitled David O. Russel Project (turned out to be Amsterdam):

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

Dude, this shit was not good. What a freakin disaster. Just all over the place and ends with nine - NINE characters standing in a room with nothing to do. This feels more like a vanity exercise to work with every great contemporary actor (name one and they're in this movie) but give no one anything to do. Also a truly terrible exercise in subtlety. 

Bullet Train

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

I don't know. It's maybe very good, but also maybe very bad. I think I didn't like it. I'm going to end on that side, although the ending is very strong. Ultimately I don't think it gets over the problems it has loving its own cheeky self and becomes a movie struggling with its own authenticity.

Nope

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

Dude, it's like one of the best. Go watch it.

Moonfall

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

How utterly disappointing. I mean, I knew it'd be stupid, but it wasn't even that stupid in a self-aware or fun kind of way. Just kind of a mess. I'm so sad.

Don't Worry Darling

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

This movie got a lot of hate, but looking back it feels so clear that it's just more anti-women hate. The behind the scenes non-sense is inescapable not to talk about, but we should give all the actors all the more credit that the finished product is so tight.

Ambulance

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

YO! This is actually fire. I should watch it again. It's somehow the most Michael Bay-movie of all time, but then also somehow GOOD?! It landed with a substantially difficult thud, but deserves much more. I'd watch it again. It's just a pure, beautiful non-stop car chase movie. At some point you need to give it up, because Roland Emmerich is right there fucking this shame shit up. I don't know. I need to really think about this. Why is this good? I think it does have to do with its genuine-ness, it just loves itself, which many modern movies struggle with.

Jackass Forever

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

So, it's definitely good. I don't think it reaches the heights of either of the previous two installments (it's ahead of Jackass: The Movie [2002]), but it's not the amazing work that contemporary reviews thought it was. The editing was a little sloppy, I expected more from the new cast, and we are thoroughly separated from the ride or die grit that gave the first films their charm. I think critics probably liked it because it was far tamer, but c'mon. I frankly love it as a look into the world of filming through COVID. And the captured conversation about Cobra Kai lol.

The Northman

Did I see it? Yep
How was it?

Unreal. One of the best of the year and BEST EVER. More to come.

Across the Spider-Verse Part 1

Did I see it? Nope, did not come out
How was it?

I'll tell ya next year! Is this coming out?

Looking back, man, all those superhero movies were crap. I apparently liked Doc Strange better than most folks, it was definitely enjoyable, but everything else was mid. Also, what happened to the Aquaman and Flash movies? When are these ever coming out? I told you, I'll believe it when I'm in theaters. I can't believe AVABAR Dos: Wet n Wild actually dropped. I don't really plan on seeing it, maybe not ever, just looks....really really stupid.

What's up for next year?! Probably all great perfect films!!

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