That's right, the day's not quite done yet. We still have time to post this! After all, this is the Summer Jam, and nothing says Summer like those Hot Havana Nights! Right? Alright. We have some jams to get to, so strap in, folks!
Hot Jam of the Week: "Pillowcase" by Gabbie Hanna
Gabbie Hanna looks exactly like Maya Rudolph. This is an okay song that definitely has shades of Lorde, Billie Eilish, and like, that one Dev video. I feel like I'm the only one who ever loved Dev. Gabbie Hanna has darkhorse all over her. Sometimes quite literally in this video.
"Boyfriend" by Ariana, Social House
This came across my desk this week and I really thought about throwing down "Bad Guy" and "Old Town Road" again but fuck it. Ariana is singing about another boyfriend, so she's got to get a spot here. This is her least memorable song of the year and won't get much play beyond this weekend. It's amazing the songs we canned for this commentary.
"Sucker" by Jonas Bros
The Bros Jonas have circled between "Sucker" and "Cool" all summer, but the former got the edge this week despite being pretty old at this point. It's still an okay song and has a damned catchy hook. By this point it's been a little too inconsistent to be relevant, but gains some props for still hanging on. We'll see what the final count is like in a few weeks!
"Never Really Over" by Katy Perry
Is this song a hit this summer? It's kind of growing on me. I almost left it off again, but I also can't stop thinking about how it's likely about Orlando Bloom. Legolas shot my heart like Cupid! It's got a few weeks to maybe solidify a Top Eight spot, but I think this girl is out of Lembas bread!
"Truth Hurts" by Lizzo
So Lizzo has really settled into this mid-point on the countdown, which bodes well for her Summer Queen chances. I mean, it's "Old Town Road" but she could still do some damage. This jam is still a fresh catch and listenable as hell. I don't see it fading any time soon, unlike a lot of Summer Jams that crumble a little bit down the final stretch before Fall.
"You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift
This jam had a big one this week and seems to be everywhere still. I am still weirded out by Taylor equating her haters to anti-LBGT bigotry, but whatever. It's hard to hate the final message I think she's getting at. Which is probably just anti-popstar Internet Trolls? Maybe it sucks. But it's actually got a rhythm. You tear me up, Taylor.
"Goodbyes" by Post Malone ft. Young Thug
I'm starting to dig Young Thug a lot and this song has been around for a few weeks but really popped on my radar this time. I almost never call a Post Malone song. His voice does not fit his face. But this song is fun and ought to finish out the summer well. It's on the uprise. Probably. It's hard to tell with any non-Old Town Road hip-hop song anymore.
"Senorita" by Camila and Shawn
Listen, I know I generally overrank Camila, but I really love this song. Not only did I hear it a ton this week but each time I felt my head bop with the sensual summer seductive pleasure of a song that's both smooth and hot hot fire. "Senorita" oddly has a few #1 weeks under its belt now. I don't think it'll overtake anything, but it's got potential to do well if it keeps up steam.
Next week...
"Bad Guy" and "Old Town Road" both had good weeks. Great. They'll be fine. I liked parts of Big Sean's "Single Again" but it just sounded a lot like what he does all the time and not that distinctive. And then there's that new Normani song. I could not sing you the tune but I know that video very well already. These have the potential to be late Summer Jam contenders or even Fall Jam contenders. Haha, as if there were such a thing! All music ends on Labour Day.
Hot Jam of the Week: "Pillowcase" by Gabbie Hanna
Gabbie Hanna looks exactly like Maya Rudolph. This is an okay song that definitely has shades of Lorde, Billie Eilish, and like, that one Dev video. I feel like I'm the only one who ever loved Dev. Gabbie Hanna has darkhorse all over her. Sometimes quite literally in this video.
"Boyfriend" by Ariana, Social House
This came across my desk this week and I really thought about throwing down "Bad Guy" and "Old Town Road" again but fuck it. Ariana is singing about another boyfriend, so she's got to get a spot here. This is her least memorable song of the year and won't get much play beyond this weekend. It's amazing the songs we canned for this commentary.
"Sucker" by Jonas Bros
The Bros Jonas have circled between "Sucker" and "Cool" all summer, but the former got the edge this week despite being pretty old at this point. It's still an okay song and has a damned catchy hook. By this point it's been a little too inconsistent to be relevant, but gains some props for still hanging on. We'll see what the final count is like in a few weeks!
"Never Really Over" by Katy Perry
Is this song a hit this summer? It's kind of growing on me. I almost left it off again, but I also can't stop thinking about how it's likely about Orlando Bloom. Legolas shot my heart like Cupid! It's got a few weeks to maybe solidify a Top Eight spot, but I think this girl is out of Lembas bread!
"Truth Hurts" by Lizzo
So Lizzo has really settled into this mid-point on the countdown, which bodes well for her Summer Queen chances. I mean, it's "Old Town Road" but she could still do some damage. This jam is still a fresh catch and listenable as hell. I don't see it fading any time soon, unlike a lot of Summer Jams that crumble a little bit down the final stretch before Fall.
"You Need to Calm Down" by Taylor Swift
This jam had a big one this week and seems to be everywhere still. I am still weirded out by Taylor equating her haters to anti-LBGT bigotry, but whatever. It's hard to hate the final message I think she's getting at. Which is probably just anti-popstar Internet Trolls? Maybe it sucks. But it's actually got a rhythm. You tear me up, Taylor.
"Goodbyes" by Post Malone ft. Young Thug
I'm starting to dig Young Thug a lot and this song has been around for a few weeks but really popped on my radar this time. I almost never call a Post Malone song. His voice does not fit his face. But this song is fun and ought to finish out the summer well. It's on the uprise. Probably. It's hard to tell with any non-Old Town Road hip-hop song anymore.
"Senorita" by Camila and Shawn
Listen, I know I generally overrank Camila, but I really love this song. Not only did I hear it a ton this week but each time I felt my head bop with the sensual summer seductive pleasure of a song that's both smooth and hot hot fire. "Senorita" oddly has a few #1 weeks under its belt now. I don't think it'll overtake anything, but it's got potential to do well if it keeps up steam.
Next week...
"Bad Guy" and "Old Town Road" both had good weeks. Great. They'll be fine. I liked parts of Big Sean's "Single Again" but it just sounded a lot like what he does all the time and not that distinctive. And then there's that new Normani song. I could not sing you the tune but I know that video very well already. These have the potential to be late Summer Jam contenders or even Fall Jam contenders. Haha, as if there were such a thing! All music ends on Labour Day.
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