Can you believe it's almost time for Summer to draw to a close? It's been an amazing, wild ride. Well, it certainly happened, that's for sure. We have a few more tracks to get through as we tally up this week and then see what Labour Day has to throw at us. In the interest of getting a lot of late-breaking jams some air time we've totally ignored all songs gaining momentum and instead went with a whole ton of new Fall hotness! Here we go!
Hot Jam of the Week: "Get Right" by Jimmy Eat World
Okay, so I really just wanted to talk about this because it's the kind of song you listen to and think "That was alright. Kind of sucked." And then you hear it was Jimmy Eat World and you go "WHAAA?" How come that is so much worse than "The Middle"? I assume Jimmy Eat World has other songs, too. Probably. I have no idea what they're going for here but it's a whiff. Hot Jams! Comin' through.
Jovial: "I Got You" by Shaggy ft. Jovi Rockwell
I guess I was just in a mood for terrible new songs from big one-hit wonders from the early 2000s this week. Sure, maybe Shaggy has "Mr. Bombastic" and "Angel" to his name, too. Three-hit wonder? But listen to this song. How does Shaggy have a career? He's the kind of patois mumbling. Somehow he turned this into a living. Well, sort of. I mean, when was the last time Shaggy was relevant? Spoiler, he still won't be after this week.
Amazing Amy: "Cool Girl" by Tove Lo
The latest by Tone Loc, or Tove Lo or whatever is somewhat less pop-y than her other Summer Jams, but this is still an engrossing track. I wonder if this could have done some damage had it been released a few months ago and shat all over a decently shatty summer, but I'm glad to get it now. It feels almost a bit more mature, although the beat is kind of blippier than her other work. It's not totally blown up, but I'm curious about its Fall potential.
Two Versions: "Nikes" by Frank Ocean
Channel Orange is still one of my favourite albums ever, and Frank Ocean's underhyped follow-up, Blonde (or is it Blond) exists in a simultaneous state of uncertainty, which is actually an astounding feat. I say underhyped, although it was still actually the third-highest release of 2016, although it seems like people aren't talking about it enough or at least in more niche areas. This is an astounding track and video, though, and although its commercial appeal seems limited (or maybe not, he just sold a shitload of albums, what do I know) and the album seems more experimental than Orange. That's probably not a bad thing, but it hasn't hooked me like his earlier work yet.
One Last (Probably) Time: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake
I was still getting traces of this song, including one double-play on two radio stations at the same time. I would almost guarantee this is more a product of my backwards country radio joints being far behind the pop times, but that's still a good picture of most of the country still jamming to this. It's almost a virtual lock for Summer Jam King, although "Cheap Thrills" might pull the upset.
Speaking of Which: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia
What more can I say? It's faded quite a bit from its apex, but it's still so good at sticking in my brain, seven plus months after I first started shooting up This is Acting like a sick junkie. Even though I gave a lot to JT this summer, that 495 million YouTube views should probably count for something. Could my ironclad method of randomly ranking songs I heard on the radio the most each week be flawed? I'll figure this out next week.
Come a Little: "Closer" by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
Halsey has a lot of talent and potential among the young people, so for that she gets the nod here. This is like, the ultimate pop song without much else going for it, but that's why it works so well. I do like the hook even if the rest of it is pretty much garbage. But it's the #1 jam right now. Also that kazoo or recorder breakdown or whatever is sublime, actually.
Can You Believe It? "Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy
Britney has suddenly had a decent week. There's a bit of upsurge with her lately, maybe tied into our sudden love of 90s culture (which I still think will bleed into Early 2000s culture pretty soon, and Early 2000s was when Britney was EVERYTHING). She had this highly touted VMA performance (even though Rihanna sand like, her entire Anti album across three performances). She was also...servicable in her Carpool Karaoke with the gayest straight man on earth, James Corden. I mean, she just never seems into it. Britney's gotten to the point that since she's such an immortal it's tough to get her to do weird human shit. She doesn't loosen up like Adele. But for this week, she's at the top.
Next week...
We won't really stoop to covering the VMAs because they haven't really been interesting since MTV stopped being interesting in general, but for Kanye to make the numbskull move of actually getting on stage and explaining "Famous" for six minutes is totally insane. And to be sure, I've written this piece on his genius. Actually that was like six years ago, that's also probably outdated. Anyway, we got one more week, folks, stay tuned to see who makes the final push!
Hot Jam of the Week: "Get Right" by Jimmy Eat World
Okay, so I really just wanted to talk about this because it's the kind of song you listen to and think "That was alright. Kind of sucked." And then you hear it was Jimmy Eat World and you go "WHAAA?" How come that is so much worse than "The Middle"? I assume Jimmy Eat World has other songs, too. Probably. I have no idea what they're going for here but it's a whiff. Hot Jams! Comin' through.
Jovial: "I Got You" by Shaggy ft. Jovi Rockwell
I guess I was just in a mood for terrible new songs from big one-hit wonders from the early 2000s this week. Sure, maybe Shaggy has "Mr. Bombastic" and "Angel" to his name, too. Three-hit wonder? But listen to this song. How does Shaggy have a career? He's the kind of patois mumbling. Somehow he turned this into a living. Well, sort of. I mean, when was the last time Shaggy was relevant? Spoiler, he still won't be after this week.
Amazing Amy: "Cool Girl" by Tove Lo
The latest by Tone Loc, or Tove Lo or whatever is somewhat less pop-y than her other Summer Jams, but this is still an engrossing track. I wonder if this could have done some damage had it been released a few months ago and shat all over a decently shatty summer, but I'm glad to get it now. It feels almost a bit more mature, although the beat is kind of blippier than her other work. It's not totally blown up, but I'm curious about its Fall potential.
Two Versions: "Nikes" by Frank Ocean
Channel Orange is still one of my favourite albums ever, and Frank Ocean's underhyped follow-up, Blonde (or is it Blond) exists in a simultaneous state of uncertainty, which is actually an astounding feat. I say underhyped, although it was still actually the third-highest release of 2016, although it seems like people aren't talking about it enough or at least in more niche areas. This is an astounding track and video, though, and although its commercial appeal seems limited (or maybe not, he just sold a shitload of albums, what do I know) and the album seems more experimental than Orange. That's probably not a bad thing, but it hasn't hooked me like his earlier work yet.
One Last (Probably) Time: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake
I was still getting traces of this song, including one double-play on two radio stations at the same time. I would almost guarantee this is more a product of my backwards country radio joints being far behind the pop times, but that's still a good picture of most of the country still jamming to this. It's almost a virtual lock for Summer Jam King, although "Cheap Thrills" might pull the upset.
Speaking of Which: "Cheap Thrills" by Sia
What more can I say? It's faded quite a bit from its apex, but it's still so good at sticking in my brain, seven plus months after I first started shooting up This is Acting like a sick junkie. Even though I gave a lot to JT this summer, that 495 million YouTube views should probably count for something. Could my ironclad method of randomly ranking songs I heard on the radio the most each week be flawed? I'll figure this out next week.
Come a Little: "Closer" by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
Halsey has a lot of talent and potential among the young people, so for that she gets the nod here. This is like, the ultimate pop song without much else going for it, but that's why it works so well. I do like the hook even if the rest of it is pretty much garbage. But it's the #1 jam right now. Also that kazoo or recorder breakdown or whatever is sublime, actually.
Can You Believe It? "Make Me..." by Britney Spears ft. G-Eazy
Britney has suddenly had a decent week. There's a bit of upsurge with her lately, maybe tied into our sudden love of 90s culture (which I still think will bleed into Early 2000s culture pretty soon, and Early 2000s was when Britney was EVERYTHING). She had this highly touted VMA performance (even though Rihanna sand like, her entire Anti album across three performances). She was also...servicable in her Carpool Karaoke with the gayest straight man on earth, James Corden. I mean, she just never seems into it. Britney's gotten to the point that since she's such an immortal it's tough to get her to do weird human shit. She doesn't loosen up like Adele. But for this week, she's at the top.
Next week...
We won't really stoop to covering the VMAs because they haven't really been interesting since MTV stopped being interesting in general, but for Kanye to make the numbskull move of actually getting on stage and explaining "Famous" for six minutes is totally insane. And to be sure, I've written this piece on his genius. Actually that was like six years ago, that's also probably outdated. Anyway, we got one more week, folks, stay tuned to see who makes the final push!
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