We're crashing through late August like a freight train full of angry possums here and there's a hole slew of tracks that seemed to crawl up into my eardrums that I've either ignored or haven't heard all summer. This is the do or die time, people. The last ditch effort for any fringe jam to show its worth. That really didn't happen this week, so listen to this crap instead!
Hot Jam of the Week: "Bang Bang" by Green Day
Clearly with all the Blink 182 revival crap, their antecedent (and largely superior) pop punk group needed to launch their own foray into renewed relevance. I actually legit heard this this week and thought to myself, "Which one is this off of? Kerplunk?" Band seem to be getting good at replicating their style, and this isn't really a bad song, it's just totally a Green Day song. Could have used a bit more Nicki Minaj and that eerily wide-mouthed Jessie J if you ask me.
Summertime Blues: "True Sadness" by The Avett Brothers
I've weirdly had a lot of access to pop folk hits this summer, and so when the latest by The Avett Brothers hit my ears I had to rant about it. It's actually not a sad song at all. In fact it's damned upbeat. I'm totally going to look up this week sometime in 2019 and be like "What the hell, Bryan?" Yeah! Let's move on.
Olympic Anthem: "No Limit" by Usher ft. Yung Thug
Doesn't this also sort of feel like an old Usher track? Like something to companion "U Got It Bad"? Or any of his other "U" songs. Usher has so many "U" songs. Maybe that's because that's also the first letter of his name. Anyway, this is a nice track who somehow just got a music video this week. Doesn't it feel like this jam has been crushing it all summer? What are you doing to us, Usher?!
The Real Olympic Anthem: "Rise" by Katy Perry
I thought I might hear this more this week, what with my television turned on to the Olympics for 15 hours a day, but it's actually been largely absent. Maybe that's because it's really uncatchy, difficult to sample quickly, and not really a good pop song in any way, not even internationally. This is sort of a rare whiff from Katy, and the people have responded as well. The video currently sits at 24 million views, which is staggeringly low for a jam that's supposed to be the theme song for a massive International Sports Competition. I mean, "This Is How We Do" has 500 million views for fuck's sake.
Me Three: "Me Too" by Meghan Trainor
I have avoided citing this song, mostly because it's really irritating, but also because it didn't seem to get enough traction this summer. Naturally I highlight a lot of non-starter songs but that's mostly because I just dig them. This beat is crazy hot, actually, but it's pretty ruined by Trainor's complete inability to sing. I'm not really down for her "I never pay for my drinks but don't hit on me" kind of thing and this song is also totally narcissistic. But like I said, that beat, damn girl.
Don't Let Me Clown: "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
Yep. Back again. With a vengeance. This jam has never really gone away, but just hasn't been worthwhile enough to crack our list here. Well, in absence of anything better, here we go. This will probably mean that it actually gets some decent summer jam cred. Actually, even though you can never distinguish this track, doesn't it sound totally like Summer 2016? Totally, dude. Speaking of which...
RiRi #1: "This Is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna
Everything we said up there applies to this. Even moreso this week this jam has totally been in the background of every conversation, playing a the bar, on the radio, wherever. It's still not a very good song and I could take it or leave it, but whatever. It's there. It's also a weird spot to feature Rihanna. Isn't this more of a Daya thing?
RiRi #2: "Needed Me" by Rihanna
I was thinking about "Sex With Me", which found a spot with us last week, but "Needed Me" seemed like the go-to jam this time around. And the #1 spot! You'd think we were just giving this shit away for nothing. Well, you'd be very accurate. This kind of crept around everywhere this week and is just hot enough to grab that spot for this exact moment. We probably could have kept rolling with Adele, but this is up-to-the-minute hotness, people. You gotta grab that fire. Rihanna's like, the eighth-most selling music artist of all time for a reason (yes, it's always surprising to hear how much she BURIES Katy, Taylor, GaGa, and Queen Bey).
Hot Jam of the Week: "Bang Bang" by Green Day
Clearly with all the Blink 182 revival crap, their antecedent (and largely superior) pop punk group needed to launch their own foray into renewed relevance. I actually legit heard this this week and thought to myself, "Which one is this off of? Kerplunk?" Band seem to be getting good at replicating their style, and this isn't really a bad song, it's just totally a Green Day song. Could have used a bit more Nicki Minaj and that eerily wide-mouthed Jessie J if you ask me.
Summertime Blues: "True Sadness" by The Avett Brothers
I've weirdly had a lot of access to pop folk hits this summer, and so when the latest by The Avett Brothers hit my ears I had to rant about it. It's actually not a sad song at all. In fact it's damned upbeat. I'm totally going to look up this week sometime in 2019 and be like "What the hell, Bryan?" Yeah! Let's move on.
Olympic Anthem: "No Limit" by Usher ft. Yung Thug
Doesn't this also sort of feel like an old Usher track? Like something to companion "U Got It Bad"? Or any of his other "U" songs. Usher has so many "U" songs. Maybe that's because that's also the first letter of his name. Anyway, this is a nice track who somehow just got a music video this week. Doesn't it feel like this jam has been crushing it all summer? What are you doing to us, Usher?!
The Real Olympic Anthem: "Rise" by Katy Perry
I thought I might hear this more this week, what with my television turned on to the Olympics for 15 hours a day, but it's actually been largely absent. Maybe that's because it's really uncatchy, difficult to sample quickly, and not really a good pop song in any way, not even internationally. This is sort of a rare whiff from Katy, and the people have responded as well. The video currently sits at 24 million views, which is staggeringly low for a jam that's supposed to be the theme song for a massive International Sports Competition. I mean, "This Is How We Do" has 500 million views for fuck's sake.
Me Three: "Me Too" by Meghan Trainor
I have avoided citing this song, mostly because it's really irritating, but also because it didn't seem to get enough traction this summer. Naturally I highlight a lot of non-starter songs but that's mostly because I just dig them. This beat is crazy hot, actually, but it's pretty ruined by Trainor's complete inability to sing. I'm not really down for her "I never pay for my drinks but don't hit on me" kind of thing and this song is also totally narcissistic. But like I said, that beat, damn girl.
Don't Let Me Clown: "Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
Yep. Back again. With a vengeance. This jam has never really gone away, but just hasn't been worthwhile enough to crack our list here. Well, in absence of anything better, here we go. This will probably mean that it actually gets some decent summer jam cred. Actually, even though you can never distinguish this track, doesn't it sound totally like Summer 2016? Totally, dude. Speaking of which...
RiRi #1: "This Is What You Came For" by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna
Everything we said up there applies to this. Even moreso this week this jam has totally been in the background of every conversation, playing a the bar, on the radio, wherever. It's still not a very good song and I could take it or leave it, but whatever. It's there. It's also a weird spot to feature Rihanna. Isn't this more of a Daya thing?
RiRi #2: "Needed Me" by Rihanna
I was thinking about "Sex With Me", which found a spot with us last week, but "Needed Me" seemed like the go-to jam this time around. And the #1 spot! You'd think we were just giving this shit away for nothing. Well, you'd be very accurate. This kind of crept around everywhere this week and is just hot enough to grab that spot for this exact moment. We probably could have kept rolling with Adele, but this is up-to-the-minute hotness, people. You gotta grab that fire. Rihanna's like, the eighth-most selling music artist of all time for a reason (yes, it's always surprising to hear how much she BURIES Katy, Taylor, GaGa, and Queen Bey).
Next week...
Yeah, probably Adele. I was also curious about Demi Lovato's new jam that's pretty awful and super-late, which is such classic Demi. There are plenty others. "Cheap Thrills" is #1 on the Billboard and "Don't Mind" is still hanging around. We ignored both this week. I was also curious about that Beyonce/Coldplay collabo which feels like it's really under-performed for the talent involved. And that will.i.am / Pia Mia track, which is really only good for Pia Mia, but has been totally off my radar for some reason. Probably lack of airplay and general consumer apathy. See ya next week!
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