Into the breach of July we've really got some hot tracks heating up, folks. This is the Tenth Summer Week, and it's time to recount the greatest Jams that have been blasting out of stereos all week in an attempt to crown a single track the Jam of Summer 2013 - that one Chief Track that forever becomes true Summer Royalty. Let's get balmy:
Hot Jam of the Week: "Ways to Go" by Grouplove
This is a pretty lively, catchy song by Grouplove, who had a nice jam last summer with "Tongue Tied." This is also a pretty entertaining video, apparently some kind of homage to Kim Jong-un, if Kim Jong-un listened to Grouplove, grew a heart, and danced around in a Hawaiian shirt. It's debuting a little late and will really have to catch up some good ground if it wants to be really counted in the running for the Summer Throne, but I'm digging this this week.
Hold in the Barf: "Cups" by Anna Kendrick
That byline probably sounds pretty derisive if you haven't actually seen Pitch Perfect (2012). Anyway, I can't stop watching that thing on HBO, it's become a ridiculous guilty pleasure. So "Cups" has really been in my head, and this has had a little boost on the radio as well as an upsurge into the Top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. It's a rapidly enjoyable track, as if we needed another reason to love Anna Kendrick.
Muppet-Bites: "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons
I keep thinking this track is dead, but it really doesn't seem like it's going away anytime soon. It's an awfully old song by now (its YouTube video dates back to December 2012 for goodness' sake), but it's still drum thumping its way through our hearts. Speaking of that video, it's one of the more boffo underground Muppet cockfights out there, although it remains thoroughly entertaining. I think this is mostly because it's played really straight in the video, and the band isn't really holding back any passion. Summer.
Way Back: "The Way" by Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller
It's tough to remember another track where one artist was so likable and the other so awful. Ariana coos and flows all over this thing, then Mac comes in with seemingly impossible quantities of douchebaggery. This may as well be an upswing week for just about everyone - I considered this dead weeks ago, but here we are sucking down Tacos Grandes.
Cannon Fodder: "Beautiful" by Mariah Carey ft. Miguel
I heard this song everywhere this week. It's got a nice thump to it, and has a pretty broad appeal for a Mariah Carey song, which is usually limited to teenage girls and Middle Eastern men, as is my understanding. Anyway, the girl's still sexy as hell somehow, and Miguel really enhances this track instead of appearing randomly and inconsequentially like some other artists out there with bizarre name punctuation.
Sexy Motherfucker: "Treasure" by Bruno Mars
Funking it up for another week, this song can't do anything but go up, which I'm fairly pleased about. It's Bruno's best joint ever, just oozing over breathy funk, a gripping bass line, and eargasms all around. That may be some hyperbole, but this song is fresh enough, happy enough, and funky enough to be my favorite pop track right now. There - I used some derivative of "funk" in every sentence.
Rapping Equality: "Same Love" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert
This song really wasn't up there as much as it was last week, but it's still doing pretty well. I'm not sure why Macklemore thought he was gay because he could draw, his uncle was, and he kept his room straight, but I suppose that does illustrate how insane most of this country is on the idea that you can "catch" gayness, or even be cured (or need to be cured). I'm down with this battling with "Cruise" for a while, we'll see if it can really become the biggest Song of Summer (and Mack's third huge hit of the year - what a little devil!)
No Means Maybe: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I.
I'm getting sort of disgusted with this track the more I listen to it, but I really just can't stop listening to it. It's the opposite of "Same Love" - a fairly horrible, rape-y topic candy coated in the most inescapable beat of the summer. Anyway, there's no stopping Ratajkowski and her cute bopping all over this video. Even though Mack's "Can't Hold Us" dominated much of the first half of Summer, the Throne favors finishers, and unless this really plummets from something like "Same Love" or "Treasure," it's almost a foregone conclusion that Robin Thicke will be crowned King. That's quite a rough patch for advocates of "no means no" everywhere.
Next week...
It was with a heavy heart that I left out "Get Lucky" and Icona Pop. I also still have an eye on the supreme mellowness of Jack Johnson's "I Got You." I also heard a bit of Rihanna's "Pour It Up," which I thought my be pretty hot, but as it turns out that dropped a few months ago. Still it could come back right? I dunno. Besides these guys, I've still got ears on two teen idols turned wannabe sexpots Selena and Miley, along with the aforementioned whore, Ke$ha. Stay tuned, folks, we've not got much Summer left!!
Hot Jam of the Week: "Ways to Go" by Grouplove
This is a pretty lively, catchy song by Grouplove, who had a nice jam last summer with "Tongue Tied." This is also a pretty entertaining video, apparently some kind of homage to Kim Jong-un, if Kim Jong-un listened to Grouplove, grew a heart, and danced around in a Hawaiian shirt. It's debuting a little late and will really have to catch up some good ground if it wants to be really counted in the running for the Summer Throne, but I'm digging this this week.
Hold in the Barf: "Cups" by Anna Kendrick
That byline probably sounds pretty derisive if you haven't actually seen Pitch Perfect (2012). Anyway, I can't stop watching that thing on HBO, it's become a ridiculous guilty pleasure. So "Cups" has really been in my head, and this has had a little boost on the radio as well as an upsurge into the Top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100. It's a rapidly enjoyable track, as if we needed another reason to love Anna Kendrick.
Muppet-Bites: "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons
I keep thinking this track is dead, but it really doesn't seem like it's going away anytime soon. It's an awfully old song by now (its YouTube video dates back to December 2012 for goodness' sake), but it's still drum thumping its way through our hearts. Speaking of that video, it's one of the more boffo underground Muppet cockfights out there, although it remains thoroughly entertaining. I think this is mostly because it's played really straight in the video, and the band isn't really holding back any passion. Summer.
Way Back: "The Way" by Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller
It's tough to remember another track where one artist was so likable and the other so awful. Ariana coos and flows all over this thing, then Mac comes in with seemingly impossible quantities of douchebaggery. This may as well be an upswing week for just about everyone - I considered this dead weeks ago, but here we are sucking down Tacos Grandes.
Cannon Fodder: "Beautiful" by Mariah Carey ft. Miguel
I heard this song everywhere this week. It's got a nice thump to it, and has a pretty broad appeal for a Mariah Carey song, which is usually limited to teenage girls and Middle Eastern men, as is my understanding. Anyway, the girl's still sexy as hell somehow, and Miguel really enhances this track instead of appearing randomly and inconsequentially like some other artists out there with bizarre name punctuation.
Sexy Motherfucker: "Treasure" by Bruno Mars
Funking it up for another week, this song can't do anything but go up, which I'm fairly pleased about. It's Bruno's best joint ever, just oozing over breathy funk, a gripping bass line, and eargasms all around. That may be some hyperbole, but this song is fresh enough, happy enough, and funky enough to be my favorite pop track right now. There - I used some derivative of "funk" in every sentence.
Rapping Equality: "Same Love" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Mary Lambert
This song really wasn't up there as much as it was last week, but it's still doing pretty well. I'm not sure why Macklemore thought he was gay because he could draw, his uncle was, and he kept his room straight, but I suppose that does illustrate how insane most of this country is on the idea that you can "catch" gayness, or even be cured (or need to be cured). I'm down with this battling with "Cruise" for a while, we'll see if it can really become the biggest Song of Summer (and Mack's third huge hit of the year - what a little devil!)
No Means Maybe: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I.
I'm getting sort of disgusted with this track the more I listen to it, but I really just can't stop listening to it. It's the opposite of "Same Love" - a fairly horrible, rape-y topic candy coated in the most inescapable beat of the summer. Anyway, there's no stopping Ratajkowski and her cute bopping all over this video. Even though Mack's "Can't Hold Us" dominated much of the first half of Summer, the Throne favors finishers, and unless this really plummets from something like "Same Love" or "Treasure," it's almost a foregone conclusion that Robin Thicke will be crowned King. That's quite a rough patch for advocates of "no means no" everywhere.
Next week...
It was with a heavy heart that I left out "Get Lucky" and Icona Pop. I also still have an eye on the supreme mellowness of Jack Johnson's "I Got You." I also heard a bit of Rihanna's "Pour It Up," which I thought my be pretty hot, but as it turns out that dropped a few months ago. Still it could come back right? I dunno. Besides these guys, I've still got ears on two teen idols turned wannabe sexpots Selena and Miley, along with the aforementioned whore, Ke$ha. Stay tuned, folks, we've not got much Summer left!!
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