It's pretty unbelievable. As it's now Labour Day 2012 and all the little children skip on back to school we can officially close out this, our Last Summer before the End of the World. All Summer Long we've been looking at the greatest hits each week and tallying them up. This week we'll announce a Final Tally and finally crown the Winner of the Summer Jam 2012. We've still got this last week, though, so let's have at it:
Hot Jam of the Week: "I Can Only Imagine" by David Guetta ft. Chris Brown & Lil Wayne
When Wheezy is the classiest bloke of your group, you know you've got a problem here. Douchebag Hack of the Century, David Guetta, and woman-beater Chris Brown try their all here, and Wayne is really just going through the motions. Still, as with many Guetta beats, it's pretty fresh, if not really exceptional. I was close to putting a Nicki song here, but really couldn't decide which crappy track she's put out off of the overrated Roman Reloaded in the last few months to highlight. Also, why are people still working with Chris Brown, including Rihanna who is supposedly shacking up with him again? Has she never heard of a couple named Whitney and Bobby?
Actually Not Bad: "One More Night" by Maroon 5
I think that sums this track up pretty well. Maroon 5 continues to live up to the name of their latest album, Overexposed with another rising single this summer. This jam is way radder than "Payphone," though, and even has a bit of a 2004 feel that made them so strong in the Alt-Pop World in the first place. The rhythm is engaging and Adam "Hawk Attack" Levine croons his way into more smoothness than selling out. The lyrics are still close to meaningless, but this is a good jam.
Jammin on Drank: "My Homies Still" by Wheezy ft. Big Sean
Big Sean is starting to be everywhere, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is a fabulous jam, though, and the video is off-the-wall insane. It's got a bit of an "A Milli" feel to it, with the addition of Sean, who is quickly establishing himself the only way rappers can these days - appearing on every single track ever. It is nice that they are learning how easy they can combine for some killer collabos and reap some huge benefits from it. Wheezy's clever lyric writing, and use of metaphoric puns is par for the course here, and exceptional. Sean's already repeating himself, but it hasn't gotten old yet.
Exclamation Point: "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" by P!nk
I'd rather call her Pink. I'm going to. As far as Pink songs go, this is actually pretty good, but even if it's starting to blow up this week, it's still not really an exceptional pop song. I still don't understand how Pink's persona, and to some extent her lyrics and appearance try so desperately to buck from pop trends, but her melodies and fans don't differentiate her at all from the Katy Perrys and Carly Raes of the world. I think she makes her fans feel special by listening to her, but really, she couldn't be more mainstream. Someone like Lana del Ray - now that cunt's truly the inverse of a Pop Princess.
Boy-Man: "As Long As You Love Me" by Justin Bieber ft. Big Sean
This track is actually an even more interesting move in Bieber's career than "Boyfriend" was. It's as if he's truly attempting to make his transition from tween idol to worldwide pop king. It's the kind of maturation that took Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake from tweaky teen heartthrobs to Global Superstars. The difference is that Justin Bieber isn't setting himself apart from a band and creating an individual identity, he's just trying to change perceptions of himself. He's also far younger than MJ and JT, which calls his credibility in authoring a song like this into question. Big Sean appears here again. No one knows why. I think Scooter Braun jumped the gun a bit and tried to morph the Bieb's career while it was still hot, and his impatience will come back to wreck him. We'll see.
Boobzilla: "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry
Let's begin the part of this post were we start talking about ICP. Yep. Insane Clown Posse released a couple of Mystery Science Theater 3000-style vids where they critique some pop vids. Okay, Fuse is clearly behind it, but they're kind of entertaining. If anything though, it's mostly ICP proving themselves to be some of the dumbest human beings alive on the planet, but watching them watch Katy tends to fill every comment I could add to this video. Take a look.
The Reign Continues: "Good Time" by Owl City ft. Carly Rae Jepsen
I think "Call Me Maybe" has finally had it, but not if ICP has anything to say about it. I do really enjoy ICP, not their music so much, but just how insane and devoted their fanbase is, along with all the crazy shit they do, from revealing themselves to be Christian somehow, to suing the FBI, and of course, "Miracles." It almost just makes my job far too easy. What does any of this have to do with Owl City? Nothing, but it's far more interesting. Anyone know if Owl City is a reference to Futurama? If they aren't, that's terrible.
The New Queen: "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift
This ought to be the big jam of the Fall, and it closes out Summer nicely. Taylor is ridiculously more likeable than she should be, and this is the kind of affirmative song you can get behind. With a new video it's also everywhere suddenly and though it's certainly not going to be counted very high among the other great Summer Jams of 2012, she's got yet again a bright future here. It's actually a pretty good video, too.
Next week...
We're done - go home. But later this week, we'll announce the final, most Jamworthy Track of Summer - stay tuned, folks!
Hot Jam of the Week: "I Can Only Imagine" by David Guetta ft. Chris Brown & Lil Wayne
When Wheezy is the classiest bloke of your group, you know you've got a problem here. Douchebag Hack of the Century, David Guetta, and woman-beater Chris Brown try their all here, and Wayne is really just going through the motions. Still, as with many Guetta beats, it's pretty fresh, if not really exceptional. I was close to putting a Nicki song here, but really couldn't decide which crappy track she's put out off of the overrated Roman Reloaded in the last few months to highlight. Also, why are people still working with Chris Brown, including Rihanna who is supposedly shacking up with him again? Has she never heard of a couple named Whitney and Bobby?
Actually Not Bad: "One More Night" by Maroon 5
I think that sums this track up pretty well. Maroon 5 continues to live up to the name of their latest album, Overexposed with another rising single this summer. This jam is way radder than "Payphone," though, and even has a bit of a 2004 feel that made them so strong in the Alt-Pop World in the first place. The rhythm is engaging and Adam "Hawk Attack" Levine croons his way into more smoothness than selling out. The lyrics are still close to meaningless, but this is a good jam.
Jammin on Drank: "My Homies Still" by Wheezy ft. Big Sean
Big Sean is starting to be everywhere, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is a fabulous jam, though, and the video is off-the-wall insane. It's got a bit of an "A Milli" feel to it, with the addition of Sean, who is quickly establishing himself the only way rappers can these days - appearing on every single track ever. It is nice that they are learning how easy they can combine for some killer collabos and reap some huge benefits from it. Wheezy's clever lyric writing, and use of metaphoric puns is par for the course here, and exceptional. Sean's already repeating himself, but it hasn't gotten old yet.
Exclamation Point: "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" by P!nk
I'd rather call her Pink. I'm going to. As far as Pink songs go, this is actually pretty good, but even if it's starting to blow up this week, it's still not really an exceptional pop song. I still don't understand how Pink's persona, and to some extent her lyrics and appearance try so desperately to buck from pop trends, but her melodies and fans don't differentiate her at all from the Katy Perrys and Carly Raes of the world. I think she makes her fans feel special by listening to her, but really, she couldn't be more mainstream. Someone like Lana del Ray - now that cunt's truly the inverse of a Pop Princess.
Boy-Man: "As Long As You Love Me" by Justin Bieber ft. Big Sean
This track is actually an even more interesting move in Bieber's career than "Boyfriend" was. It's as if he's truly attempting to make his transition from tween idol to worldwide pop king. It's the kind of maturation that took Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake from tweaky teen heartthrobs to Global Superstars. The difference is that Justin Bieber isn't setting himself apart from a band and creating an individual identity, he's just trying to change perceptions of himself. He's also far younger than MJ and JT, which calls his credibility in authoring a song like this into question. Big Sean appears here again. No one knows why. I think Scooter Braun jumped the gun a bit and tried to morph the Bieb's career while it was still hot, and his impatience will come back to wreck him. We'll see.
Boobzilla: "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry
Let's begin the part of this post were we start talking about ICP. Yep. Insane Clown Posse released a couple of Mystery Science Theater 3000-style vids where they critique some pop vids. Okay, Fuse is clearly behind it, but they're kind of entertaining. If anything though, it's mostly ICP proving themselves to be some of the dumbest human beings alive on the planet, but watching them watch Katy tends to fill every comment I could add to this video. Take a look.
The Reign Continues: "Good Time" by Owl City ft. Carly Rae Jepsen
I think "Call Me Maybe" has finally had it, but not if ICP has anything to say about it. I do really enjoy ICP, not their music so much, but just how insane and devoted their fanbase is, along with all the crazy shit they do, from revealing themselves to be Christian somehow, to suing the FBI, and of course, "Miracles." It almost just makes my job far too easy. What does any of this have to do with Owl City? Nothing, but it's far more interesting. Anyone know if Owl City is a reference to Futurama? If they aren't, that's terrible.
The New Queen: "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift
Next week...
We're done - go home. But later this week, we'll announce the final, most Jamworthy Track of Summer - stay tuned, folks!
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